


Oh to be a Mama’s Boy

by Mad_Hatt3r



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 22:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17313407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Hatt3r/pseuds/Mad_Hatt3r
Summary: Quick one shot set after the recent spoilers. Told from Noah’s POV.





	Oh to be a Mama’s Boy

Looking through the partially closed blinds he can feel sweat beginning to gather on his palms and brow as his body flushes first hot then cold. It’s nerves and dread and worry all rolled into one and Noah’s fairly certain that his body is reacting just the way his brain is, out of fear. 

Burying his hands into his hoody he looks from right to left checking that he’s still the only occupant of this particular corridor. He shouldn’t be here and if he gets caught now it will have all been for nothing. It’s late and if they realises he’s missing they’ll all throw a fit but he refuses to play the waiting game at home. He hates it, how all the adults coddle him as though he’s Moses’ age, like at 14 he doesn’t understand the severity of a situation like this. It’s all ‘Everything will be fine’ and ‘It’s all going to be ok’ and he can’t stand the pity in their eyes as they say it. 

His mum wouldn’t say those things; not anymore, not if he pushed and pushed. She would tell him the hard facts, although heavily edited, her abrasive nature not allowing for anything else. A tagged on ‘So don’t worry yeah babe’ would follow but its because she feels it’s expected of her as a mother to say these things even though he knows it doesn’t come naturally to her. Looking at the slightly distorted picture in front of him though makes his stomach clench. He’s seen his mum cry before; no matter what the village says about heartless Charity Dingle, he’s seen her upset. But now seeing the pure fear in exhausted red rimmed eyes makes the breath rush from his body and his stomach twist uncomfortably. 

Nobody can say that these past 12 months have been easy. When he thinks about it, which he doesn’t do very often, the sheer scale of adversity they have faced just as an immediate family is immense. There’s been Sarah’s illness, Chas losing Grace, Bail’s trial, the arrival of Joe and his recent disappearing act. It’s a miracle that everyone has come through into 2019 with any sort of sanity remaining. 

Throughout it all though his mum has been the one who has stood tall and fought, either for herself or everyone else. The supportive presence to Debbie when she’s almost crumbled under the weight of her worry over Sarah. The understanding cousin to Chas as she’s lost herself in grief and the lioness who fought Joe and himself at every turn when she thought he was going to leave her. She had been a voice, however reluctant, to people who have gone through what she had with Bails, an image of a true survivor. It suddenly makes him proud to be her son something which he doesn’t think he has ever felt before. It ignites a fierceness within him that he didn’t even know he was capable of feeling, the urge to protect his family, in particular his mum roaring through his veins. 

Slowly he pulls the hood off his head showing his face, glancing at his watch he knows that, unless there is an emergency, the ICU should be quiet for about another 45 minutes. It’s wrong really that he knows the ICU schedule in Weatherfield General and it proves just how much time he has spent here recently. Slowly he moves and opens the door to the end room, it opens soundlessly and when it clicks to the sound barely echoes in the silent room. When he turns back to face the only two occupants in the room he notes neither have moved a muscle. 

Vanessa looks tiny, not a shock really; to him she always looks tiny, but right now he doesn’t think she could possibly be any smaller. She’s incredibly pale her skin almost blending into the hospital bedding, the only colour that stands out in the room is her blonde hair and the large bag of bright red blood that is being slowly administered by the large needle affixed to Vanessa’s right arm. He swallows hard trying to push the lump away that has formed and he can feel his fingers fidgeting with nerves. Nothing bad can happen to ‘Ness. Nothing. It isn’t a request it’s a statement. 

Vanessa hasn't been anything like his other ‘step parents’ she’s pushy but not intrusive and most of the time she listens before jumping to conclusions. Surprisingly, considering who’s she’s dating, she’s very family orientated. Trips to the park, movie nights and shopping trips are done as the five of them which had come as a shock. Noah has never expected to be included presuming it would just be the two adults plus Johnny and Moses but Vanessa has insisted, looking downright disappointed when at first he’d scoffed with a sarcastic I’m alright thanks. Everyone seems happier, his mum especially and without Vanessa he’s almost certain she wouldn’t have survived Bails’s trial and all that came with it. Vanessa doesn’t doubt his mum nor does she excuse her questionable behaviour and it’s a refreshing change. Noah doesn’t want it to end. 

“I’m sorry you know” 

His mums words are whispered hoarsely and for a moment he thinks she’s speaking to him but she tightens her grip on the hand in her own and places a shaking hand to cup Vanessa’s cheek. 

“If I hadn’t said all those things...” 

A choked sob escapes and Noah watches as fresh tears build in his mother’s eyes. 

“God babe what have I done? You’re hurt and Johnnybobs has had to suffer through some god awful trauma poor little sod. He’s safe now though with Trace at Tug Ghyll and he’s fine. A bit shook up poor mite but fine. Noah found him, took off running soon as he heard us, they must have just dumped him when they realised babe ‘cause Noah said he was just there at the side of the road” 

The tears are now falling slowly dripping on to the bedding turning the blanket from light to dark blue. 

“I shouted at him you know, Noah I mean, he was only helping and I shouted at him. Told him could he not just stay put for 2 minutes. ‘Cause I was scared and angry at myself and I took it out on him like I always do. Then I felt even worse cause I knew you would have told me off an all” 

Noah bites down on his lip hard enough that he almost draws blood. He had found Johnny almost as soon as he darted up the main road. He was crying for his mummy, stood scared in the gutter, but unharmed. The relief he had felt when he wrapped him up in his arms had made him dizzy after the fear that had thundered through his veins. Watching his mum shout for Johnny while cradling Vanessa in her arms had made him sick to his stomach.

It hurts when she shouts at him, telling him off when all he was doing was trying to help, but deep down he does understand. His mum she shouts louder, says words more cutting than ever before when she’s scared. He knows because he does exactly the same thing. Rage in response to fear.

“You are gonna be fine Ness do you hear me? I’m a shitty mother and horrible person but I actually feel like I can be more when I’m with you. You help me so much with them boys, help me show them how much I love them. So you have to stay with me yeah cause I love you an all babe, I love you so much” 

Noah can’t bear to watch or listen anymore and in two quick strides he’s wrapping his arms around his mums shoulders pulling her close as she sobs hard into his shirt. He needs to feel as though he’s doing something and he can’t comfort her with words so instead he just holds her tight. At first she fights against him but he doesn’t let go. Her grief it’s allowed, expected, her girlfriend has been stabbed, left for dead in the road in a pool of blood. Charity left cradling a sobbing Vanessa as Johnny was driven away from them. 

“You shouldn’t be here” 

It’s been a long few minutes but she’s all cried out. He’s glad, his arms have seized up and his damp shirt is sticking to him uncomfortably. 

“Yeah I know” 

His averts his eyes as she hastily scrubs at her cheeks, he knows she’s embarrassed he can see it in the curve of her shoulders and the way she keeps her head tilted slightly away from him. 

“Chas will throw a fit” 

“Yeah well I wanted to be here” 

She’s taken aback by his honest words he can tell, her lips quirk into a small smile and he fights the urge to grin in return. He pulls up a chair next to hers, close enough that their shoulders are touching and lets out a deep sigh. 

“Have the nurses not tried to kick you out yet?” 

“Do you really think I’m going to let anyone shift me out of here” He smirks in response to her cocky grin, even the nurses know not to try and take on Charity Dingle “And anyway it’s not that late yet” 

“Er Mum it’s quarter past 1” 

Her head whips around so fast he hears the click of her neck as she does so, the look of shock only lasts for a moment before she scowls heavily. 

“How the flamin’ hell did you get here at this time?!” 

“Taxi” 

He shrinks slightly under her glare and he doesn’t like how she’s pulled back away from him. 

“Yeah and who’s paid for that it will have cost a fortune!” 

“Me!” 

“You can never just do as you’re told can you!”

Keeping his eyes averted he mumbles his response, she’s angry now and oh doesn’t he know it. 

“What was that?” 

“I said I couldn’t relax ‘cause I was worried” 

She looks at him confusion in her features for a moment before her whole body slumps forward causing him to sit up in alarm. 

“Mum?” 

She doesn’t answer instead she just rests her head in her hands, her fingers tangling between blonde locks as her elbows balance on the edge of the bed. 

“Well now you’ve seen her I think it’s best you go home” 

“I wasn’t just worried about ‘Ness” 

She doesn’t move a muscle, no indication that she has heard his confession and a funny feeling of desperation wells upside of him. He’s too old really to want his mothers embrace but right now he wishes he was as small as Moses just so he could be wrapped tightly in her arms and soothed with soft words. When he was smaller and she was determined to be his mum he loved nothing more than being sat on the couch curled into the side of her. He’s never really had many moments of feeling wanted and the longing for her to be more present has never really gone away. 

“Noah...” 

“No I’m not leaving, I’m staying right here with you” 

“I’m fine kid” 

He scoffs, his temper flaring at her blatant attempt at dismissing him. He knows she isn’t fine, he’s just caught her sobbing for pity’s sake and it infuriates him that she can’t just admit emotion like a normal human being.

“I am so you can go back home and get some sleep, I’m totally fine babe really” 

She’s shutting down, pulling on the mask and he can’t hold onto his temper, he lets his tone turn cold and he sees her flinch slightly as he speaks. 

“You were crying” 

“I’m tired and if you hadn’t realised babe this is a rather stressful situation. Anyone would be reduced to tears being stuck in here on so little sleep” 

Her posture is rigid, her stare icy and when it settles on him he sneers. 

“Yeah fair enough, it isn’t that surprising really. Now you’ve done the dramatic waterworks you can go back to only caring about number one, as usual” 

“Oh Noah just go back home yeah” 

“I knew it, with ‘Ness it’ll be just like all the others. I don’t know why I gave in and became used to her presence when I knew it wouldn’t last, not with you. 

You’ll weep and wail but it’s all for show isn’t it? You don’t really care about any of us unless there’s a drama. I don’t get a look in until something happens and then you get mad when people try and blame you. You suddenly start acting like mother of the year until the spotlight dims and I’m shoved to the sidelines again” 

He doesn’t look at her, he can’t otherwise he’ll see the hurt he’s causing but he wants her to fight back and she won’t not unless she’s pushed.

“Noah” 

Her voice is sharp now in warning the previous frustration has gone but he’s not stopping, not now. 

“I don’t know why I bothered coming ... it’s just you looked so devastated earlier when we were waiting for the ambulance and I thought then that I had never seen you look so fearful. Now I know it was just an act. Put on for the onlookers while they gasped in horror and shock; poor Vanessa, poor Charity” 

“Noah please” 

This time she looks at him properly, reaching for his hand but he snatches it away from her before standing up so that he towers above her. 

“And yeah it is poor Vanessa because she got caught up in the Charity Dingle cyclone, sucks you in, chews you up and spits you out. Poor Vanessa Woodfield. She’ll leave just like all the others, you’ll either drive her away or well, look at her” 

It’s like being doused in cold water as he realises what he just implied and he knows he’s gone too far when he watches in horror as Charity’s face drains to white and her hands begin to shake. She suddenly looks so much older than her 42 years and a lump appears in his throat. 

“Mum-“ 

He’s interrupted by a loud bleep and both their heads snap towards a machine that is now flashing red almost angrily. 

“‘Ness?” 

Mum’s voice breaks over the word and he feels his stomach twist as the machine bleeps louder and more frantically. 

“Mum what’s goin-“ 

He’s cut off by the door opening and a nurse bustling in who scowls when she looks at him and he fights the urge to shrink away from her glare. 

“Miss Dingle I need you to leave and to take whoever this young man is with you immediately” 

“Why what’s happening?” 

“Out Miss Dingle” 

The nurse doesn’t even give his mum or himself a second glance she’s engrossed in the machines by Vanessa’s bedside and he knows that she needs to concentrate to do her job. 

“Mum come on” 

He grasps her hand ignoring the cold clammy skin against his own and pulls at her arm trying to reach the doorway. 

“Mum” 

“I don’t want to leave her” 

He doesn’t know how to respond instead he just tugs her hand more firmly, almost dragging her out into the corridor. As they leave they almost collide with another nurse now entering the room and Noah feels his nerves grow. His mum immediately goes to the window cursing loudly when she realises they have shut the blinds and he doesn’t know what to do when she begins pacing angrily up and down in front of him. 

“Mum?” 

“What Noah?! Did you miss out something from your impassioned little speech? Something else you want to blame me for?” 

“No I-“ 

“I already know this is my fault yeah babe so you don’t need to throw that little fact into my face, just in case you think I’m unaware” 

It isn’t her fault but he knows it’s no use arguing not after what he has just said to her. Their relationship always feels like one step forwards two steps back and he wishes they could just get along without the drama. He knows it’s not all her; she’s cagey and emotionally distant but so is he along with distrustful, becoming her mirror image as he grows. 

“She’s gonna be alright though isn’t she Mum?” 

The desperation he feels bleeds into his voice making him sound young and needy. Charity stops pacing and she turns to him with fearful eyes her own voice wavering as she does “God I hope so” 

He darts forward just as she opens her arms and then he’s wrapped in her embrace tightly. He’ll be taller than her soon but it doesn’t matter she’s holding him close and he relishes in it. 

“I’m sorry Mum, I’m so sorry” 

“It’s ok babe, it’s ok” 

“No Mum it’s no-“

“Excuse me Miss Dingle?” 

His mum snaps back away from him, hastily scrubbing at her cheeks before her hard stare settles on the nurse who has appeared beside them. She seems young and has a kind face and it immediately puts Noah at ease, he’s glad she’s helping look after Ness she deserves someone who’s nice. 

“Is she alright?”

“Will Miss Woodfield’s father be returning in the morning?” 

He watches Charity tense and he realises that she won’t be listed as next of kin which means she won’t be given any information. 

“Yes but-”

“You know the rules Miss Dingle” 

Noah watches as she deflates in front of him and he turns his eyes pleadingly to the nurse. 

“Please, Vanessa well she’s family and please can you just tell me she’s going to be alright?” 

He puts everything he can into his little performance forcing his voice to waver and his eyes to prick with tears. It’s surprisingly easy with how worried he is. The nurse looks at him the struggle clear to see in her eyes, he sniffs and wipes an arm across his face as his mum comes to stand next to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry I cannot give any details regarding Miss Woodfields condition to anyone other than her next of kin” 

The nurse looks genuinely sorry, her expression not changing as she turns to look at his mum. 

“I also cannot allow you back into the room Miss Dingle” 

“What?! Why the bloody hell not!” 

“Miss Dingle it’s nearly 2 o clock in the morning visiting officially ended 6 hours ago I think we’ve been more than fair allowing you to remain by Miss Woodfield for this long” 

Noah can see how this could potentially turn nasty, trying to stop the inevitable bomb that is his mother detonating he blurts out the first thing he can think of. 

“How about this, you give us a very basic update on how Vanessa is and we’ll stay right here. I promise we won’t go into the room” 

The nurse looks like she’s about to argue but he ignores her “You can’t expect us to just go home she’s my mums girlfriend and my ...” 

He pauses unsure for a moment of how to go on until he thinks how good having Vanessa living with them has been this last month, how much more his home has become. His clothes are washed and ironed, his breakfast made along with his dinner if he asks; its great no longer having to fend for himself. Vanessa does all the domestic Mum things that his mum isn’t great at but Charity is trying and she’s happier, he’s happier. 

“Family, she’s my family” 

He knows he’s blushing, he’s cheeks feel as though they’re on fire but his mum she’s looking at him with such love in her gaze that it makes it worth it. 

“She’s stable, the surgery was a success we just need to watch for infection” 

“So that.. what happened just then?” 

“Was an irregular spike in her heart rate, nothing else” 

Noah feels the relief wash over him like a wave and he smiles gratefully. As he turns to his mum she gives him a beaming smile causing him to roll his eyes as he pushes her to the nearest seat. 

“You can go home, Miss Woodfield is being closely monitored and as I’ve said she’s stable” 

Noah shakes his head before settling into the chair next to his Mums “Nah we’ll wait, then we’re here when she wakes up” 

The nurse shakes her head but doesn’t argue she just nods and makes her way back to the nurses station. 

“You played a blinder there babe” 

Her arm comes to settle around his shoulders and he leans into her warmth letting out a deep breath as he does. It’s comforting and he can feel himself becoming drowsy. 

“Get some sleep Noah” 

She doesn’t pull away and he snuggles in closer, no one can see him here and even if they do right now he doesn’t care. Before he closes his eyes he casts one final look down the corridor and hopes that everything for once will be alright and Vanessa will be back where she belongs soon, at The Woolpack, Home.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first foray into ‘Vanity’ and the world of Emmerdale and I must admit I was a little nervous to post. 
> 
> As a ‘catch Emmerdale when I visit my Nan (twice a week)’ viewer I hope that I’ve not been too ‘off character’. Charity has always been one of my favourites. 
> 
> I would love to hear your thoughts if anyone has a moment to comment it would be much appreciated :)


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